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Beyond Chocolates and Roses: How to make this Valentine’s Day truly special

Valentine’s Day is Friday, Feb. 14. Need help with gift ideas? Writer Sharaine Webster has you covered.

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate your love and connection with your partner, but choosing the perfect gift can sometimes be tricky. It is important to remember that the best gifts are not necessarily the most expensive ones. Usually, they are the ones that reflect your partner’s personality, interests and the bond you share. One of the best ways to make your gift meaningful is by prioritizing shared experiences. This can create lasting memories and strengthen your relationship overall.

The Science Behind Gift Preferences

Research in psychology and consumer behavior suggests that men and women often have different preferences when it comes to gifts. While individual differences always apply, some studies have found some common patterns:

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Men’s Gift Preferences

·      Practicality Over Symbolism: Men tend to appreciate gifts that have a functional use, such as gadgets, tools or hobby-related items.

·      Experiences Over Objects: Many men prefer shared experiences like an adventurous trip, a sports event or an activity they can do together rather than sentimental keepsakes.

·      Personalization Matters Less: While a custom gift is still appreciated, men tend to focus more on the utility of a gift rather than its sentimental value.

Women’s Gift Preferences

·      Emotional and Symbolic Gifts: Women are more likely to appreciate gifts that carry emotional weight, such as personalized jewelry, handwritten letters or meaningful keepsakes.

·      Experiences That Foster Connection: Women often value experiences as well, especially those that promote emotional bonding, like a spa day, a romantic getaway or a creative workshop together.

·      Surprise and Thoughtfulness: Women tend to place more importance on the thought behind the gift rather than its price tag. A surprise that shows effort and understanding of her personality can be more meaningful than an expensive but generic present.

Bridging the Gap

The best approach is to tailor the gift to your specific partner rather than relying solely on general trends. Pay attention to their past reactions to gifts, their daily habits and what makes them happiest in your relationship.

1. Pay Attention to Their Interests and Hints

Your partner may have already given you clues about what they’d love. Have they mentioned something they need or admired something in passing? Take note of these hints, as they can lead you to a personal and well-thought-out gift.

2. Consider Their Love Language

Understanding your partner’s love language can help you choose the perfect gift, from the book “Love Languages” by Gary Chapman).

·      Words of Affirmation: A handwritten letter, a custom poem or a scrapbook filled with heartfelt notes.

·      Acts of Service: Cook their favorite meal, plan a day off for them or take care of a task they dislike.

·      Receiving Gifts: Choose something meaningful, like a piece of jewelry with sentimental value or a book they’ve wanted.

·      Quality Time: Plan an experience, such as a weekend getaway, a romantic picnic, or a cozy movie night.

·      Physical Touch: A massage, a warm blanket, or matching pajamas can emphasize closeness.

3. Prioritize Shared Experiences Over Material Gifts

While tangible gifts can be thoughtful, shared experiences deepen your connection and create lasting memories. Instead of a traditional gift, consider experiences you can enjoy together, such as:

·      A Couples’ Getaway: Plan a weekend trip to a place you both love or have always wanted to visit.

·      A Fun Date Night: Try something new together, like a cooking class, wine tasting, or a live show.

·      An Adventure Activity: If you both enjoy excitement, consider skydiving, hiking, or an escape room.

·      A Relaxing Spa Day: Book a couples’ massage or create a spa experience at home.

·      A Creative Workshop: Take a pottery, painting, or dance class to bond while learning something new.

Experiences allow you to grow together, strengthen emotional intimacy, and make Valentine’s Day feel even more special.

4. Personalize Your Gift

A customized gift adds a unique touch. Consider engraving a piece of jewelry, personalizing a book with a heartfelt note, or creating a scrapbook of your favorite memories together. Even an experience can be personalized — plan a surprise day based on your partner’s favorite.

5. Handmade and Sentimental Gifts activities

A handmade gift is a powerful expression of love, embodying compassion, dedication, and the sacrifice of time. Unlike store-bought presents, it carries a personal touch, showing that you have invested effort and thought into creating something unique for your partner. Whether it is a heartfelt letter, a scrapbook of memories, or a carefully crafted item, a handmade gift holds sentimental value that far outweighs its cost. It reflects the essence of love – showing up, making an effort, and cherishing the connection you share – turning a simple gesture into a lasting symbol of devotion.

6. Give the Gift of Time

Sometimes, the best gift is undivided attention. Try to set aside distractions and focus on each other. Whether it’s a cozy day in, a planned adventure, or simply cooking dinner together. The effort and presence you bring to the moment can mean more than any physical gift.

7. Avoid Last-Minute Shopping

The best gifts take time to plan. Avoid the stress of scrambling for something generic by thinking ahead and considering what would make your partner truly happy. Nothing is worse than getting a gift that feels unconnected.

Final Thoughts

At the heart of Valentine’s Day is the celebration of love, connection, and the joy of making your partner feel truly cherished. Whether through a heartfelt gift, a shared experience, or simply the gift of your time and attention, the most meaningful gestures come from a place of genuine affection. Love is not about grand gestures. It is about the little things that show you truly see and appreciate your partner every day.

Wishing you a Valentine’s Day filled with warmth, laughter and love in all its beautiful forms.

Author

Sharaine Webster LISW IADC is a clinical assistant professor at the University of Iowa School of Social Work and a licensed therapist based in the Des Moines-area (specializing in mental health, sexual wellness and addiction counseling). With a passion for supporting marginalized communities, she provides education, clinical training and therapy focused on relationship dynamics, the LGBTQIA+ community and various underserved populations. Sharaine also serves as an advisor and advocate and contributes to initiatives aimed at improving access to culturally competent holistic care. Personally, she also values freelance writing and creative expression.