All politicians are hypocrites, but if we we're handing out trophies . . .

Image created by Shade Burgs with PICSART

With the release of the Epstein Files, I’ve concluded: One party is the reigning champion of the Hypocrite Olympics. It sweeps gold across the board. Claiming to be the champions of Christianity, Democracy, patriotism and justice, the party falls short — especially when it comes to children. Christian Republicans have elevated hypocrisy to an art form, clinching the victory in every event.

Republican hopefuls and seated officials of the Grand Old Party have a knack for making jaws drop and stomachs churn — and it’s not from talking points and sound bites.

From globe-trotting illicit rendezvous with underage boys to playing mixologist with their granddaughter’s Dairy Queen Blizzard, it seems our esteemed conservative figureheads are doubling as frontrunners in the race of morally repulsive acts involving minors.

Meet Justin Eichorn, the steward of conservative political affiliation rights in Minnesota District 5, who has recently swapped legislative bills for a deep dive into the need for bail reform. As it turns out, after fiercely campaigning against the discrimination of conservatives by local businesses and the media, Justin found himself in a different kind of dilemma—a sting operation masquerading as a rendezvous with a minor. Yes, Mr. Eichorn, in a plot twist, went from fighting for conservative values and patriotic freedom to choosing the worst possible way to lose his: He was arrested by a female Bloomington undercover officer who was definitely not the 17-year-old femme fatale he imagined. The married father of four resigned and was released to a halfway house. He’s awaiting trial.

Ray Holmberg, 81, is a shining example of moral flexibility, dedicated 45 years to public service and fine legislative craftsmanship in North Dakota. He is known for his pivotal contributions, such as ensuring you can’t claim workers’ compensation if you’ve legally used recreational cannabis and making sure corporations and corporate officers can more easily duck responsibility by being considered “persons.” Holberg traveled to the Czech Republic to engage in sexual activities with underage boys. Subsequently, he was also charged, arrested, indicted, convicted and sentenced to 10 years in federal prison. According to papers filed by the prosecutor’s office, he was candid in his statement:

“If you think I traveled thousands of miles to have sex with a 16-year-old, you’d be right,” a “USA Today” story quoted a person recounting a comment from Holmberg in court papers.

Robert “RJ” John May’s accomplishments in the South Carolina legislature include sponsorship of bills honoring cheerleading squads and girls’ sports teams. He used the alias JoeBidennnn69. May went on a 4-day spree on a mobile sharing app, distributed 479 videos to over 100 Kik users over five days, “communicating explicitly with other users

about child sexual abuse material by sending and receiving over 1,100 messages,” according to the United States Attorney’s office in South Carolina. He took trips to Colombia involving underage girls, some as young as 12. In court, he opted to defend himself and pleaded guilty to distributing child sexual abuse material. He was sentenced to more than 17 years in federal prison.

Matt Gaetz, the former congressman from Florida, lost his bid to become Trump’s attorney general after his record was reviewed. Republican House members were uncomfortable with things in his past, like being involved in a sex-trafficking investigation by the Justice Department. Allegedly, Representative Gaetz, a married man with children, was known among his colleagues for flying young, allegedly underage women around the country for partying, then paying them with Cash App while partaking in significant cocaine and alcohol use. It eventually cost him the opportunity.

More upheaval is on the way as fallout from the Epstein Files continues to reverberate.